Everything

University is my doomsday.
Gently, slowly, days tick by,
Distraught any distance from us till then,
Bringing forth examination day:
The verdict of where to, shall separation be.

Emotions change as time goes by,
Crescendo for me.

At first, a relief, that soon,
Yet not too soon,
The bells will ring the final school,
And faces, agreeable (past),
Loved and kissed and cried upon shall
Leave,
For the better reconstruction of
Both.

Then comes the slight tingling of accustomed
Petty details which, through number and repetition,
Have shaped where we are,
So how to be,
So who we are.
Can we expect to hold on and not change
Through no need and new needs?
Barely.

And the third step,
The stabbing of thoughts,
The leaving behind of things,
The immutable quality of memories which stand as such:
- no longer nostalgia
- no longer wishful thinking of return
- just memories (a non-verbal invariable form of past tense)
The wailing knowledge that we know not what is to come.

Our faces were ours then,
Not you, nor I as such,
But ours.
Belonging was upon us.
My Everything is gone,
And all forms imagined are never to take place.

University is my doomsday:
I thought the game was over,
But this is when we play.

26/04/09